November 13th, 2016

 5 WAYS TO APPROACH THE FIRST DATE

It all began with entering the exciting yet scary single life myself. You know, the life we all love and dread.  I've been single for about a year and a half now. For the first few months, I thought it was the best time of my life! In fact, after departing from a two year relationship, embracing my freedom was all I could think about. Then, the time came when I discovered that my "ex" moved on and I was STILL trying to figure out the meaning of being single! Let me enlighten you right now- there is NO meaning to being single-but the most amazing thing there is about it is YOU get to do YOU, and that truly is a beautiful thing, (but that's a whole other article in itself), stay tuned! 

Believe me when I tell you I'm no expert when its comes to dating and generally speaking there is a lot of trial and error that comes along with it, but what I do know is that dating CAN be mastered and the only way to do so is to actually go on dates. So in the past year and a half, I've been on quite a few dates (54 and counting to be exact) and along the way, I've learned and came up with 5 ways to approach the first date.

​1. Don't set your expectations too high.  We all do it. We envision the perfect man or woman and when our date does not exceed our expectations, its all downhill from there. This is something that I have done way too often and as a result, I become too distracted during the date and would leave the date disappointed.  Rather than going into the date with judgement, try listening and learning about them. Remember, you are both interviewing each other, so you want to give them a chance and the respect to share who they are with you just as you are with them.  

2. Commit and Establish A Connection. Ok, fine. Maybe you realize he or she is not the "one" in the first five minutes. But the truth is, you've already committed to the date, so the least you can do is have fun with it and most importantly learn about the person in front of you. Go back to step one and again, don't set your expectations too high, this is your time to shine and put your best foot forward. Think of it as practice for your next date who may or may not be the "one". Either way, be sure to showcase your best self and most of all have fun with them. Remember, this is valuable practice time, so use it.  

3. Make eye contact but not too much. Eye contact is not only a sign of respect but also shows that you are being a good listener. Although too much eye contact can make one feel intimidated so be sure to use the right balance. Additionally, eye contact not only exudes confidence in yourself but also a powerful sense of connection to the other person, so be sure to use this to your advantage!

4. Wear the color red. All color has meaning and one of my favorites is red. This color not only makes me feel radiant and beautiful but it also boosts my confidence. It has been said the color red symbolizes power, passion and love. Whether you decide to wear a red top, dress or even red lipstick like me, this color will automatically boost your confidence. And what better characteristic to have on a date than confidence! 

5. Ask key questions.  Asking your date questions is not a bad thing. However, you don't want to be too overbearing and turn it into a full blown interview. Be sure to ask key questions that you care about in a partner like where they grew up, family background, hobbies and if you're into astrology, their birthday, (but I like to ask that one towards the end of the night). Avoid questions relating to past relationships and/or if they want marriage and children, these can be a bit overbearing, so save them for the second or third date.  

I hope the above tips will help you out on your next date. And remember, if you can enter a date with all of the above in mind, you will soon discover that dating isn't just about meeting the perfect person, its about practice, having fun and creating an experience to remember. And practice does make perfect. Until next time, happy dating!